- Wear two layers of tights
- Stow a secret hip flask of coffee in said tights
- Keep cough sweets on hand at all times
- Keep sugary bribes on hand at all times
- Abandon your dignity indefinitely
- Abandon logic
- Prepare to be alarmed
- Prepare to be confused
- Prepare to remain (visibly) unmoved by fart jokes
- Prepare to remain (visibly) unmoved by farts
- Employ restraint and do not clothesline students when they make wise-cracks in Korean
- Employ restraint and do not embrace students when they speak actual English words with their mouths
- Smuggle in Emma Watson
- (NEW ENTRY AS OF TODAY) Give a lesson based solely on zombies
Eager to to prove I’m an indispensable member of the faculty I recently elected to take on some extra work.
What I envisioned was not unlike Whoopi’s band of misunderstood miscreants from the classic, Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit. Like Whoopi I would manage to reach out to my charges through the power of education and, via a turn of events both comedic and heart-warming, we’d ultimately go on to win the South Korean National English Speaking Competition.
As usual my imagination and reality didn’t quite tally up.
It seems I’m going to have to get over the fact that I’m not a Las Vegas showgirl masquerading as a nun and in the absence of an uplifting montage win them over with actual time and dedication.
I’ve been teaching now for 5 weeks and though I still can’t always tell Kim Jun Min from Park Sung Sing I feel a bond is beginning to blossom between me and the 900 odd boys I oversee.
We have developed routines and systems that aren’t all based on the acquisition of candy, and, even though I do not know all of their names (which some would argue is crucial to a person’s identity) I feel as if I’m really getting to know them –
Things teenage Korean boys rate