Gaga for Granger

I’ve been teaching now for 5 weeks and though I still can’t always tell Kim Jun Min from Park Sung Sing I feel a bond is beginning to blossom between me and the 900 odd boys I oversee.

We have developed routines and systems that aren’t all based on the acquisition of candy, and, even though I do not know all of their names (which some would argue is crucial to a person’s identity) I feel as if I’m really getting to know them –

Things teenage Korean boys rate

– League of Legends
– Sleeping
– Candy
– The word ‘sexy’ pronounced ‘shexy’
–  Rock, paper, scissors – used to settle all of life’s important questions
– Big glasses and bouffant hairstyles
But there is one thing that teenage Korean boys covet above all of the candies in candy land. Something that no amount of perms or lie ins can hope to compete with. The one thing that is becoming increasingly fundamental to my lesson planning…
That thing is Emma Watson.
Let me tell you, teenage Korean boys go gaga for Granger. Their love for her is truly unparalleled and a sight to behold. If I ever need to get their attention all I need do is flash a picture of EW looking cute up on the screen and their jaws go slack, their eyes glassy, their lips dry – they clutch at their chests as if their hearts might pop, and beat their fists on the desktops in anguished longing.
So forceful is their lust that some of them are actually propelled from their seats onto the desktops in a bid to be just that bit closer to EW’s lovely likeness.
So yes, the bond that has been established is that between the dealer and the addict, but you know I’m ok with it.
My students are the best.

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