Before last week I would regularly insist to anyone who asked, or just anyone within earshot, that I didn’t care what age/gender group I landed, that I was just happy to be shaping young minds. Well it turns out that, that was rubbish.
When the teacher I’ll be replacing broke it to me that I’ll be overseeing classes of 35-40 15-year-old boys my heart did an almighty nose dive and I was overcome by a powerful urge to shriek ‘but boys have lurgies’ at the top of my lungs and run for the hills.
I think because we’d been told that we were more likely to get elementary age kids due to a lower demand for foreign teachers in high schools, I’d subconsciously dismissed the possibility of teenage boys all together. In my deluded mind I imagined my days being spent surrounded by 10-20 rapt little tadpoles playing the Hokey Cokey and Simon Says. Basically spots, fart jokes and a flagrant disregard for personal hygiene just didn’t enter into the equation.
Bubble well and truly burst I spent a couple of hours bemoaning this cruel twist of fate to various long-suffering friends and relatives before grudgingly turning to Google to find out what exactly I was letting myself in for. Well, it turns out that those spotty little stinkers might just be my golden ticket.
– Reliable plumming
15-year-olds don’t tend to leak
– Immunity to scary foreigners
They have probably seen at a couple of weirdo westerners in their time, so they’re less likely to scream in sheer horror at the sight of me
– Bigger brains
Generally speaking, 15-year-olds are smarter than their elementary counterparts. That means we might have the odd conversation routed in some kind of logic, plus they should be able to comprehend some of the gobbledegook spewing forth from my mouth
– Susceptibility to crippling crushes
If I exploit my feminine charms right I could have them eating out of the palm of my hand
Elementary teachers, I feel your envy.